I have just completed a 1200+ mile journey to Voidcon in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania! Day One: Leaving Oklahoma, a surprisingly foggy journey. I made a few stops along the way. Frist, I hit up a circus sideshow museum in St. Roberts, Missouri. You pay $6, go through the door, and enjoy horrors of circuses past. There’s the fun stuff, like the fake Fiji mermaids and a Chupacabra (I will always appreciate a non-dog Chupacabra. I watched Sightings in 1995, I know it’s supposed to be an alien kangaroo, damnit!).
There were also a surprising number of deformed babies made from dolls. Although some floating in jars may have been legit. Honesty, the whole thing is 99% deformed babies. There are also quite a few “mummies” of bearded women. I guess “deceased” displays have fewer variables to consider. There are also a few displays that… have not aged well. Random mannequin dressed up look like a 1950s-era Ripley’s Believe It or Not take on a nondescript tribesperson was a racist fever dream.
But the real nightmare was the turtles. I thought they were a display too. Then one of them blinked… there are two conjoined turtles chilling back there, who remind me of the dog from The Fly II. Just $6 to experience unfathomable sadness at nature’s mistakes!
Then I stopped at a bucket list destination: Cahokia! Been obsessed with seeing the area forever. Hell, I co-wrote a Cracked.com article about them a lifetime ago. I knew Monk’s Mound was big. But seeing it in person really brings home the incredible work and ingenuity that went into constructing it. Looking out over the area, it’s also incredible to take in that all these mounds are essentially just the scarce remnants of a massive city complex. Also, pictures fail to show just how boxed in the whole area is by the city, and you pass a landfill with a mound that dwarfs Monk’s Mound. Like Monk’s Mound, it will be here when we, and out cities, are all long gone. They opened Mound 72 at Cahokia and discovered a world of beautiful artistry, the bones of revered people and those sacrificed to them, and peek at a culture that remains a mystery. When future archaeologists open the landfill mound, they’ll find plastic bags and fidget spinners. 
Finally, I stopped for a night at a hotel in a small Illinois town! Let me set the scene: There are no outside lights. No street lights. Half the parking lot is gravel. You enter to see a long hallway, lights flickering. There’s a cloudy fishtank of dead fish to greet customers. Got a nonsmoking room? Fuck you. Every room is haunted by the ghost of Pall Malls past.
Day Two!
Got an early start, witnessed an Indiana sunrise, and stopped in Ohio to see an Adena burial mound, situated in the center of a small town. Passed some roadside nonsense here and there, a few buildings and signs with TRUMP on them in tall letters, but nothing else. No slogans. No promises. TRUMP. I also stopped in Kecksburg to see the monument to a UFO crash in 1965, featuring the UFO model used in the Unsolved Mysteries segment of that episode. I assume one day we’ll see the real thing, rolled out when the US government has run out of excuses for not delivering healthcare, and needs a description. They’ll eventually slap those Roswell alien corpses on a slab outside the capital, too. Anything to not make medical care affordable.
Now, I’m here! I load in my stuff tomorrow, and you can visit my table for signed books on Friday and Saturday. This has been an amazing experience, and I look forward to meeting readers and fellow writers. Huge thanks to Katy, my parents, and my in-laws for all their help. A lot of people made it possible for me to do this, so I better sell every goddamn book I brought with me! Otherwise, straight into Susquehanna River I go, my corpse to wash up by the Mini Statue of Liberty.
